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Dealing with Wedding Disappointment | Bliss + Balance with Brenda

Dec 11, 2020

Today, we are so excited to be launching our partnership with Brenda Dow in a series called Bliss + Balance with Brenda!

Each month, Brenda will be sharing her insights and expertise on navigating the potentially stressful & sometimes tumultuous process of planning your wedding and even more importantly how to support a successful marriage! She will cover many topics ranging from communication with your partner to mental & spiritual health. You definitely won’t want to miss out!

Today’s post is going to provide so much great information for our amazing couples and clients who have had to navigate not only planning their wedding but also dealing with the pandemic, reschedules, postponements and so much more. We’re talking about Dealing with Wedding Disappointment and Brenda has some fantastic, tangible steps you can implement to keep on going.

If you want to make sure you never miss a segment, click here and subscribe to our newsletter! It goes out monthly and is jam-packed with so much great information and fun behind-the-scenes content from our team here at The Union Studio!

Photography by Jerz Photography

COVID-19 has wrecked a lot of wedding plans. If you’re dealing with disappointment during 2020, here are some tips to help find bliss and balance.

Own it

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. Rather, what we say or do when experiencing those emotions can make things better or worse, for ourself and for others.

So if you are disappointed — or feeling other unpleasant emotions — own it. Sit with that emotion. Look into yourself and ask: What specifically is triggering this feeling? What hopes, dreams, desires, expectations did I have that won’t be realized?

Go deep. Process the emotion and what is driving it. Do the inner work. Learn more about yourself. Grieve.

And, when you do so, you can become free to move on to your next life adventure, instead of letting the situation hold you back.

Not your first Rodeo

Chances are you’ve encountered disappointment before. Maybe this current situation is a reminder of past disappointments.

Even so, remember that this is not your first rodeo. You moved past that disappointment.

You can learn how to deal with the current situation better by briefly reflecting on what worked last time. And avoid what didn’t help or made it worse, including replaying it over and over in your mind.

Fire Drill

As you build your life moving forward, disappointment will continue to show up at your door. So take steps now to set up your detector to alert you to better ways to escape disappointment.

Think of it as a fire drill. A fire drill can derail your productivity or, depending on the situation, it can become a welcomed break. Either way, the drill is necessary in case a real fire ever breaks out.

We all know disappointment, in fact, will break out sooner or later. So it can be helpful to view the current disappointment as an opportunity to become more fire-resistant in the future … or at least have better escape-route options.

And when it next happens, the power rests with you to find the escape route that works best to your advantage.

Evaluative Opportunity

Did you love or hate pop quizzes? My husband came to appreciate them after his instructor labeled each pop quiz as an “evaluative opportunity.”

The instructor explained that the opportunity was provided in that moment to evaluate how prepared the student was for the questions that popped up.

Framing it as an opportunity helped the students to evaluate how they successfully navigated the circumstances or individual questions. It also underscored areas for continued growth and improvement.

So when the next “evaluative opportunity” surfaces, don’t just identify what steps you can next take for continued growth. Also remember to celebrate how you more effectively handled the disappointment this time.

Serenity Prayer

Nothing shines a spotlight on how little we actually can control in our life than when a Murphy’s Law situation arises. No matter how well we’ve studied or prepared, situations will always arise that completely throw us for a loop. Enter 2020.

That’s when the Serenity Prayer can be especially valuable. Saying out-loud or meditating on these words can be very centering: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

What will you do?

2020 has shown us that no matter how well we’ve planned or how much attention we’ve paid to details, things can go off the track. And in ways many of us could not have ever imagined.

So what steps will you take to move more quickly past disappointment and toward greater bliss and balance?

Featured Image Credit | A Guy & A Girl Photography

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